No Accolade For The Unwilling Introvert

It has long been overdue in acknowledging the fact that the name Eddy is not welcome in anyone brain space or physical ground as it has been proven time and time again without failing to be notice by the aforementioned name. With no malice nor ulterior motive in mind,this so-proclaim-anecdote is written not to unearth injustice done to this soft spoken writer but to be nothing more than a pointless rambling while waiting for the class to commence. In this chilly morning, the devotees of medicine,pursuers of healing talk in whispers about topics and gossips unbeknown and foreign to this writer ,as such knowledge remain elusive to the writer and conversation is scarce. The chronic verbal famine does not bother the writer. Why bother instigating tete-a-tete when the other conscripted participant is exasperated with such conduct? Feeling rue pertaining to the upcoming examination ahead, the writer feel much oblige to constrain himself with books and unnecessary frivolity  is restricted to the point of non-existent. The aged-carpeted floor is as dull as the cream color wall. Intertwine of glad and sorrow mixed with prolong stagnant of motivation make life a cruel game of roulette where the bonanza prize is a punch on the face. I end this short memoir with heavy heart and troubled mind.

Rage

Anger consume me

frustration is my body

My soul burn with hatred

I am reincarnation of wrath

i desolate

lifeless corpse is the aftermath

None can withstand my temper

my mind is the pure essence of fire

fear my anger

fear my outrage

I am a monster

I replace calm with ravage

i destroy the world

because I am miserable

Fool's Wish

give me ten thousand song, so i could be happy
give me a thousand disappointment  so i could cry
give me a hundred  ice cream so I could smile
give me ten scar to let me feel pain
give me one love for me to cherish

Momento of a Dead Man

let me experience disappointment so I could be defeated
let me suffer so I could be weak
let me lay waste and rot so I could be disregard upon
let me  feel pain so I could cry
let me receive loneliness so I could die

DEATH TAKE ME

death take me
awake bring agony
sleepless in anguish
the pain persist


pain and agony
suffering and hurting
by past misery
stop me from sleeping
im dying
decaying
rotting
crumbling
by the fact
of not needed

Plight

why do I bother when i know Im gonna fail anyway
why do I suffer when I know I should be better?
Why do I even try if it gonna end up a failure?
 Why do I even dream when I know it wont come true
What do I seek when i know it is hopeless
What happened,that I deserve this treatment
Why do I care , if it not gonna work
Why do I attempt, when It all was in vain
Why do I dare, when I know it gonna hurt me
Who shall I believe in, when the world turn it back on me
When shall I die,to ease me from this pain
how should I live, when this feeling wont go away
 Why I must smile,when the world is gloomy
Why is the sky so dark, when there is light everywhere
How much agony can a man endure, before he falter
How much dagger can a man receive.before he surrender
How long can a man be on his knee, before his spirit waver

Why give him pity, when he is going to rot

Why do I persevere, when I'm already detested

Why do I keep going, when I know I unwanted

What's the point of straining when you gain nothing

Why do you struggle when you only gonna be disappointed

Why make an effort when it gonna turn into a dismay anyway

Why I sacrifice it all, when I know I'm gonna be abandon

Why do I still wish the best for the other person, while I lay in anguish

When will I learn I'm only gonna get  hurt

Forget starting ,you only gonna be detested

Give up embarking , you only gonna be hated

Cease optimism , you only gonna be rejected

I end this confession as I lay tormented

death is better

is eating my heart out,

is wanting to cut my artery and vein,

is feeling the need to see blood gushing,

feel like dying from torment,

is wishing the pain would end,

is hoping to sleep through the misery,

is suffocating from past tragedy,

is hating for self shortcoming,
is giving up all dreams,

is admitting there is no victory,

is agreeing there will be no tomorrow,

is crying for all his sorrow,

is weeping all his woe,

is taking too much pain, 

is hurting after being left behind

is getting confuse in my mind

is trying to forget

is acknowledging what I will never get